fuck a goddamn kerouac: GOOD RULES OF THE ROAD FOR BAD GIRLS ON THE RUN
I love driving. I love taking road trips. Especially on my own. It’s a particular and profound freedom to drive cross-country alone. Here’s what I consider to be the most important…
ROAD TRIP GIRL TIPS:
1) TUNES. This is my number one stay-awake weapon. The way I get myself amped for road trips is by meticulating (i meant to to say “meticulously curating” but that came out instead) a playlist. I put new music on there that I haven’t listened to yet and I’m excited to try out. In the past year for every major road trip I’ve had to take, I listen to [TEEN GIRLS KILLING VAMPIRES] because it’s my writing playlist and for whatever reason I do my best drafting when I’m driving or flying. In the past I’ve recruited ayiman and bkarwatowski to give me some new tunes for road trips and they helped me make some particularly rad playlists for day driving AND night driving. Don’t skimp on music or audiobooks (if you’re into that kind of thing. audiobooks make me sleep.)
2) FOODS. I know road food is seriously tempting but trust me, if you eat that gas station shit for more than three days straight, your guts will hate you. Pack some healthy snacks. Account for protein somewhere. Throw a baggie of some goddamn baby carrots in there. Before I leave, I am going to raid my parent’s pantry before for wheat bread, peanut butter, and raw honey.
3) CROONS. Make a sing-along playlist. Seriously! Few things are as liberating as unselfconsciously belting along to your favorite songs as you hurtle down a highway at 80 mph.
4) BOONS. Stash a $20 somewhere in your car. When your wallet gets stolen at a Philly rest stop and and you still need money for tolls to get home, you’ll have the small emergency cash stash. (Thanks, Aunt Elizabeth! Good idea)
5) NUDES. I mean this figuratively but actually, I have flashed truckers in the past out of my own boredom. Don’t do that. What I mean is, use this time to not give a goddamn fuck about your appearance. Everyone you see is wholly temporary as you move through the country. Slob out as much as you want. Have a naked face. Wear leggings as pants! Who the fuck cares. Added bonus: shuts people the fuck down when they ask what you were wearing in the event you get harassed! Which leads me to…
6) ELUDE. This is the requisite safety catch-all. Do not accept the manarchist’s invitation spaghetti dinner inside his RV at the rest stop. Do not leave your car unlocked. Wear your fucking seat belt until it chafes too much boob and you pull it aside. Don’t trust any stranger who tries to get you to go somewhere. (This has never happened to me, but I’m trying to cover obvious bases) DO tell your friends and family where you are going and when you are supposed to be there. I up and took a manic pixie mad dash across the American southwest in the middle of the night once and it really FREAKED out some people in my life because they didn’t know where I was or what I was up to. Be smart.